Here's Why No One Wants to Insure The Gilmore Girls

by Julia Carter

All things considered, The Gilmore Girls are model citizens. They support and advocate local businesses, regularly attend town meetings, volunteer to help their community, always repay their debts and, according to Lorelai in Season 6 Episode 10, they don’t “owe any back taxes” either.

While viewers may get lost in their good-girl image and overlook some of their bad habits, others wouldn't be so quick to dismiss them - like Emily Gilmore, Richard Gilmore and any potential insurance provider the girls may try to sign up with.

With less than 3 weeks until Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life premieres on Netflix, marking 9 years and 6 months since we last saw our favourite Stars Hollow residents, we’ve revisited some of the Gilmore Girls'  behaviours to understand what makes them a greater risk to insure.

Cue the pop tarts and coffee.

Image Credit: Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life Netflix Trailer

1. They use their mobile phones while driving

RORY: I just got hit by a deer.

LANE: You hit a deer?

RORY: No! I got hit by a deer!

LANE: How do you get hit by a deer?

RORY: I was at a stop sign and he just hit me! Oh my God! [Gets out to look for deer]

LANE: Was it a 4-way stop?

RORY: What does that matter?

LANE: I don’t know. I don’t know what to ask after you’ve been hit by a deer.

Season 1 Episode 4, The Deer Hunters

Image Credit: Gilmore Girls

Lorelai may pride herself on being nothing like her mother, but the two have more than just their surname in common. As we found out in Season 7, Lorelai's bad habit of using a mobile phone while driving may have been something she learned from Emily who was pulled over and ultimately arrested for the offence. 

It's no wonder Rory also picked up the bad habit, and found herself being hit by a deer while talking on the phone on her way to an English exam.

According to our own claims data, animal collisions account for 5.4% of all collision claims and is the 8th most popular collision type. Luckily for Rory, she had just approached a stop sign when the deer hit her. If she had been driving any faster, the collision would’ve been a lot more serious, especially since one of her hands was tied up on the phone and her conversation with Lane would have delayed her reaction time.

Too bad the traffic light safety camera Taylor tried installing in Season 7 didn't work out. Surely if he was aware of the girls' texting and driving habit, he would have done something about it.

2. They don't lock their doors

LORELAI: The back door lock was fine.

LUKE: The back door lock was cheap.

LORELAI: The back door lock came with the house. It's been a very fine back door lock.

LUKE: It's the kind of lock burglars look for.

LORELAI: Why do burglars look for that lock?

LUKE: Because it's easy to break into. I proved that.

Season 1 Episode 22: Love, Daisies and Troubadours

Although everyone's pretty friendly in Star's Hollow and they all know each other by name, that doesn’t mean you should leave your doors unlocked, as Luke points out to Lorelai the morning after her mother's bachelorette party. While Lorelai argues that she always locks them, her history of unannounced visitors proves otherwise.

For example, there was the time she brought her date, Max, back to her house only to find Lane had let herself in and was camping out in Rory's room. On another occasion, Lorelai comes home and hears a noise upstairs. It's Luke, who says he entered from the back door which had a broken lock; "the kind of lock burglars look for."

Perhaps no one proved how easy it is to break into the Gilmore Girls house than Kirk, who took it upon himself to sneak into the premises while Lorelai was gone to install a motion detector because he was concerned about the "pretty spinster" living alone. In true Kirk fashion, the system proves to be faulty and eventually gets uninstalled, leaving the Gilmore house as vulnerable as ever.

Of course, the easier a house is to break into, the higher a target it becomes for thieves and the higher a risk it is perceived as to insurance providers. As the daughter of a prominent insurance exec, Lorelai really should know better.

 Image Credit: Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life Netflix Trailer

3. They don't park securely

LUKE: Snow cannot protect you. Snow is frozen water falling out of the sky. And as for this car and this tree, you can predict it. It’s gravity. There’s four tons of snow on this tree. You park under it, gravity is going to come into play and take it out! It’s basic physics!

Season 5 Episode 11: Women of Questionable Morals

The Gilmore House may have a large garage with enough room to securely park two cars, but Lorelai would much rather use the space for other purposes. When it's not acting as a studio for Lane's band to rehearse or bearing the name of her "special alone place," Lorelai uses the garage to store Luke's boat. Unfortunately, the boat doesn't fit and the garage door remains open indefinitely, allowing intruders, like Kirk, to access the boat and use it as a bed.

Perhaps a better usage of the garage would be to store her car, which is usually parked under a giant tree on her front lawn. As she tells Luke, she's "been parking this stupid car under this stupid tree forever," but it proves to be a dangerous spot when a tree branch falls on top of her Jeep the morning after a heavy snowfall, dumping "four tonnes of snow" along with it.

Secure parking is a heavy factor when it comes to assessing risk, and it doesn't mean you always have to park in a garage or underground, it just means ensuring your vehicle is parked out of harm's way puts you at less of a risk for car damage. In this regard, Lorelai has a notorious track record of unsafe parking. In addition to her favourite spot under the tree, Lorelai's car is often parked in other vulnerable positions, such as the busy street alongside Luke's diner. On one occasion, she even remained parked in a no parking zone, even after Taylor gave her a 3 minute warning. We're betting he made a few phone calls after that incident, namely to Lorelai's car insurance provider.

As you can see, while everyone may love the Gilmore Girls, not everyone would want to insure them. However, a lot can happen in 9 years and 6 months, and we’re hoping that time has made Lorelai and Rory a little wiser when it comes to protecting their cars, home and contents. All will be revealed on 25 November. We’ll wait until then to give them a quote.

Julia Carter

Julia writes our blogs and is currently binge-watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix

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